For all those who love the steel giants

Good news for trainspotters, dungeons and dragons "warriors", morris men and Star Trek geeks.
Here's a forehead-smackingly dull organisation that is guaranteed to make you feel that little bit less nerdy.
Ladies and gentleman I give you... The Pylon Appreciation Society (slogan: Pylon fans unite!).
The club has been formed to bring together people who are "inspired by these steel giants" as well as those poor tormented souls who are "just curious".
Perhaps all around the country ashen-faced adolescents are confronting their parents.
Teenager: "Mum. Dad. You'd better take a seat. I've got something to tell you. I think..I think... I'm pylon curious."
Dad: "Don't worry son we love you just the same."
Mum: "It's a huge relief actually. We thought that you were going to tell us that you were thinking of standing for the Labour leadership."
Lifetime membership of PAS costs a mere £10 and gets you a club badge (presumably so people can shun and avoid you at 30 paces) as well as a frameable A4 print entitled "Parts of a pylon.".
Best of all the website also features a fully downloadable "pylon of the month".
This month it's a slender little beauty from Borsod, Hungary, with a touch to die for. Phwooar!!


Tremble in the presence of Orangeman

Is it a bird? Is it a serene, not-at-all angry man in a bowler hat? Nope. It's the new superhero created by The Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland.
Our laugh-a-minute Dalek-voiced chums are looking to win over the Bebo generation by launching a square-jawed action hero in a tangerine all-in-one jumpsuit The loyalist organisation asked school children to name their muscle-bound, monarchy-loving champion and have decided upon the heroic moniker Diamond Dan.
"There were many strong entries such as Sash Gordon and the Boyne Wonder," said Order spokesman David Hume.


Elvis lives, and he's coming to Loch Lomond

Elvis isn't no dead. No siree. In fact, I have it on good authority that the King is planning to don a rainproof rhinestone cape and sail down one of Scotland's most famous waterways.
Diehard fans of the jumpsuited behemoth have organised a Presley-themed cruise down Loch Lomond for July 19.
Better still, in homage to the great man's Dixieland roots the floating hoe-down will take place on the Maid of the Loch, the last steam paddler built in the UK.
The cruise has been organised by Glasgow-based fan-club, The Elvis Touch (is it just me or does that make him sound like a slightly creepy uncle?) and judging by last year's event it is not to be missed.
Club member Lillian "Priscilla" Cumming reported: "We sailed the length of the Loch and back. Friendly campers were spotted at the various beaches dotted along the shores. We were waved at and even 'mooned' a few times – cue all the video cameras suddenly springing into life and everybody coming out on deck to see what was causing all the hilarity!"
A formidable sound-system will generate a rave-from-beyond-the-grave atmosphere, while a bumper buffet has also been promised.
Of course, the fact that it is happening in Scotland's deep-fried wild west will probably mean the delicacies on offer would be too calorific even for a man who famously gorged himself on jam-smeared cheeseburgers.
The big man has left the bonny bonny banks so-he-has y'all!



Weird Weekends

Let battle commence

Watch the Glasgow Vikings reenactment society do battle with blue-faced Pictish warriors in a life-or-death struggle. Afterwards the Nordic invaders and the home team will join forces for a family picnic.
Saturday, July 26, Burghead, near Elgin, Moray.